Matt and I are still slowly preparing. It is not so easy for us to keep preparing when we don’t know when Tom and Jerry will be here. Sometimes it feels like it will never happen and you just shouldn’t bother reading a book on attachment, or prepare the nursery, or even think about child proofing.
Christine recently shared this post with me and the last paragraph really spoke to me at a time when I really needed to hear it.
Do not give up. Lay your all on the table. Everything is worth it. They are already yours, you have just not found each other yet. Keep hoping, keep praying, keep investing…they are coming. Be ready.
I had recently come to the realization that I had lost my hope that this would happen. I had stopped day dreaming about what it would be like to take Tom and Jerry to the park or the zoo or to watch them play with their dad. I started to pour all my focus to anything but being a mother or adoption. I just stopped. I didn’t want to prepare anymore, I didn’t want to dream anymore.
After a nice long talk with Matt last night and reading that post this morning I am feeling a renewed spirit. I will allow myself to day dream again, read some books, prepare the nursery, and maybe even childproof the house. I have hope again.